Sunday, May 20, 2012

Sunday beach time.

Its Sunday night and Shaun just went out to have a "night sesh" (Translation: night skateboarding session with some favorite friends). I am cleaning. Haha you can see how successful I am at cleaning, considering I am here typing, instead of wiping down my bathtub. My hope is that after I finish this post I will finally feel motivated to clean the rest of my house. So far I have half-way finished the kitchen and half-way finished the living room.... still have the bedroom & bathroom to tackle. Once I finish those I'll jog, shower, and head to bed. 

((Meredith just walked in. She is so cute. Ever since we were little she always wanted to sleep near me. When we had the same room, she wanted to sleep in my bed. When we had separate rooms, she wanted to sleep in my extra bed. Now we have separate houses (she lives literally 5 minutes away) but every night, without fail, she begs to sleep on my couch. Sometimes I let her. She is so cute. ))

my Sunday afternoon. 

Today I felt like encouraging you with something I learned this afternoon. 
We had a Models For Christ leadership breakfast in Manhattan Beach this morning, and afterward I decided to walk down to the water to read and pray. It was so beautiful.

In that time I began to realize again just how weak & helpless I am. Then I started telling God everything I worry about. Here are a few of the things on my list (P.S. I know that lots of them sound vain, but I'll just be real with you)....

the rash on my face & neck.
loving Shaun.
not thinking about any guy other than Shaun.
my blog.
Models For Christ.
friends that struggle.
family that struggles.
cleaning my house.
my car.
my future.
having kids.
my body.
my teeth.
my skin.
my sister.
influencing other nations.
representing Jesus in Hollywood.
people who stopped liking me.
friends who stopped talking to me.

There is a lot more that I prayed about... but I don't want to bore you.

After I told God everything I was worried about, and admitted to Him that I was literally desperate for His help. I waited....

Last week a friend told me to take 10 minutes and ask God what He thinks of me. She was sure I would be blown away by what God would say.

So I did it. I laid there on the beach and asked Him.

At first I didn't hear anything. My mind wandered a bit. But I prayed again and asked God to help me not get distracted.

Then I looked at all of the sand around me & remembered what He already told me in Chile... (from Psalm 139) "My thoughts of you outnumber the grains of sand"..

Immediately I felt peace. In my mind I felt like God continued to speak to me...
"Jessica, even if you thought of yourself every second of everyday, for your whole life.... you still wouldn't come close to the amount of thoughts I have about you. You are always on my mind."

It made so much sense. I remembered how Jesus tells us not to worry (Matthew 6:34). God also says in Philippians 4:6 not to be anxious about anything. Of course God would say that! Because He is thinking about us all the time, He is thinking about every detail of our lives... so He doesn't need us to spend our time worrying about things, because He has got it covered!

I felt like God showed me that He delights in me the way new parents delight in their baby girl. They are so proud of her. They think everything she does is adorable. They are excited to dress her and show her off. They are patient with her. They can't stop thinking about her.
.... That's the way God loves us. That's the way God loves me. Its incredible.

It helped me to understand why God would want us to be lovers of others. He wants us to look out for each other and prefer each other, even looking for ways to honor each other, above ourselves. It makes perfect sense. Because God is thinking about us every minute of everyday... so we can trust already that our lives will be okay... That means we don't have to worry about ourselves... which then frees us up to take care of others! Its a brilliant plan.

Its hard to focus on others if we think that our own needs won't be taken care of. But when we know that we serve a God who is excited to take care of us, then we can use our energy to love on others, instead of wasting it on worrying about ourselves.

All that to say...I am encouraged tonight to be a lover of the people around me. I can look for ways to love others extravagantly, because I trust that my God will cover everything I need. That's a beautiful thing.

 So precious one...take a deep breath, release your worries to Jesus, and instead use that energy to focus on caring for the people around you. God has got every detail of your life covered. You're going to be okay.

Philippians 4:6

The Message (MSG)
 6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

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