Thursday, December 22, 2011

Siri. Beautiful and victorious.

Our niece Siri Grace is a gem. You can meet her...

Her name, Siri, means beautiful and victorious. Over the last few days I have been spending a lot of time with her and learning so much. She is amazing. 

The other night as I was laying down to go to bed I was feeling extra anxious. Stressing over all of the things that I need to get done, feeling insecure in different areas, and praying for peace because my mind was so overwhelmed.

As I was wrestling with my brain, asking the Holy Spirit to calm my anxious heart, He used Siri to teach me an important lesson...

I began to imagine Siri playing with a toy and getting frustrated because she couldn't figure it out. She kept trying and trying, but it was too complicated for her sweet little undeveloped mind. She then walked over to me in her desperation and handed me her toy, hoping that I would fix it. I was excited to take the toy from her, because I definitely knew how to fix it, and I felt happy to calm her frustration. I even felt honored that she chose me to come to when she felt sad. I fixed the toy for her and then handed it back to her. It was so satisfying for me to see her smile as she realized the toy was fixed again.

Through this, God showed me his desire to be the One to handle the matters of my life that cause me frustration. He loves me. He is excited when I come to Him with the issues that feel too big for me. In comparison to Him, I am little and undeveloped. Just as Siri's toy issue was too big for her, my life issues feel too big for me. But just as Siri's issue was nothing at all for me to fix, my issues are nothing at all for God to take care of. He is the Creator of everything. He is the Giver of life and the Savior of humankind-He can certainly handle my day-to-day tasks, my body, my marriage, and my home. He is huge, and I am teeny-tiny. He loves when I come to Him and give Him my life, asking for His help and direction. He loves to be my Savior and the source of my joy. Just like I love being the one Siri chooses to help her and rescue her when her life as a 10-month-old baby girl feels like too much for her to handle. God loves when I come to Him, in my desperation, looking to Him for answers. I was made for that.

We were all made for that. We were created by God, to do life with Him, and look to Him for all of our needs. To Him, we are like Siri, desperate little precious helpless babies. He loves us and He delights in taking care of us. We were created to trust Him, and only in giving ourselves to Him do we find true peace. Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. It only makes sense to look to Him when things feel out of control.

Isaiah 9:6(NIV)

6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, & the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Jesus. Jessica. Santa. Snow. && a lovely little coffee shop.

Last Sunday my sister Meredith, our friend Melissa, and I ventured up to Big Bear, California. We were longing to see snow, and the girls had decided to have a day of snowboarding. This left me alone to spend all day in Big Bear village. I mostly sat in a coffee shop having an extra long date with Jesus, but I also walked around a bit and enjoyed being cold. Here are some pictures of my adventures...
Mrs. Clause :)

Mrs. Clause came into the coffee shop

The coffee-shop

Jesus, journal-time, Bible-time, and a holiday latte

I found Santa!!

SO filled with Christmas spirit

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!

my Colorado heart was filled with joy when I found the snow

Big Bear Lake 

Love this 

and this! 

My favorite mug!

Christmas lights and icicles!

Meredith, Melissa and me after they finished snowboarding!

The Copper Q coffee shop
My day in Big Bear was heaven-sent. I was able to go up there the weekend after I found out about Karl's death. Such a gift to be able to relax and get things done. God was so faithful to meet with me that day and remind me of truth. Such a gift.

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Remembering Karl.

This video recalling Karl's life is so encouraging to me. Death is so sobering. Life is short and our days are valuable.

Last night as I was thinking about Karl's life and how painful discipleship can be, I asked Shaun, "What matters in life?" He laughed that I would ask such a deep question, but after thinking for a few minutes he said something wonderful. He said, "Loving God and loving others. It doesn't matter how wealthy, or successful you are. When you die people will recall the ways you loved others, they will remember the great things about your character. Like when Steve Jobs died, people weren't talking about all of his money, they were talking about how incredible it was that he tapped into his potential. The way he pursued excellence, and paid attention to details. What matters in life is relationships, like you spending 30 minutes with Maddie after dinner (Maddie is my 4th grade "little sister"), or me and Jesse going to Saul's house to check on him (Saul is a skater who recently began trusting Jesus.) Loving your spouse, and your family, and your friends matters. Loving God matters. Those are the things that people will remember about you."

Ephesians 5:2

New Living Translation (NLT)
2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us[a] and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

wisdom from my father-in-law.

Shaun & Jess,
I'm so sorry to hear about the terrible loss of Karl.  His life was a testimony to the power of Christ to transform and bring hope, and then to the power of the devil to destroy a life if given the chance.
In John 10:10, Jesus said, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have [it] more abundantly."  Karl proved the truth of Jesus words.  When he gave himself to Christ, his life was transformed into a life with hope and a future.  His bondage was turned to freedom; his dispair was turned to joy.  Jesus delivered on his promise to Karl.
Then Karl had a slip, a failure, a moment of weakness, as any of us can, that put the devil back in control, and Satan stole from him his joy, his hope and his freedom, and ultimately sought to kill and destroy him.  That is what he does. 
Karl's life is a testimony to the power of Christ, and also to the evil and destructive intentions of the devil.  We need to be very sober about our freedom in Christ.  We need to be very careful not to turn back to the pleasures of this world.  We need to resist the devil and cling to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.  Without Him, we have no hope and we have no power.  We must never give the devil a foothold in our lives, because Jesus was very clear about Satan's intentions for all of us.
I will not presume to judge Karl; Jesus knows.  But let us take a lesson from his life and death to know where true hope lies, and how desperate we are for God's continued mercy and grace toward us.
I'll be praying for you, and for all of Karl's friends and family.
xxxooo, -Dad


This little man had an enormous heart. Karl's favorite thing to do was worship Jesus. It brings me peace knowing that he is doing his most favorite thing right this very moment. I miss you little brother. I love you always. 

Baby boy. How much you are loved, and yet I know you barely believe its true. I know it takes every bit of you to believe in me, too. For every time you were told something different, I will be there whispering in your ear how much my love for you is truly what is real. How many tears I have wiped from your pain-stricken face, as your mind is filled with memories and lies you beg for me to erase.  I created you with such a delicate heart, to portray my gentleness like no other could impart. 

Baby boy. I have loved you through every good and hard day, loved you through every sleepless night, pulled your covers up tighter when you were afraid. And I had my people praying, you may not have even known, someone each night, I placed your name on their heart. Your name, little one, was etched on the palm of my hand when you said "yes" to me, and despite where you slipped, you will be with me for eternity. 

Baby boy. I have brought you home. For in my great mercy, I cannot watch you hurt, I had to tell you in person just how much I love you. You don't yet have knowledge of the great impact you have left with your short life, the passion you praised my Name with, and the humble vulnerability of your fight. Your hunger, I now fully satisfy, as you forever abide in my presence. No more tears. My holy deliverance.


By Kate Hunt

Monday, November 28, 2011

to be Real.

"You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." 
-The Velveteen Rabbit
Photo found on pinterest-

Monday, November 21, 2011

my favorite blog.

it should be known that my favorite blog to read and enjoy belongs to my sweet friend Hillary. i highly recommend you go there immediately and indulge in her words, photos, quotes, and all of the other sites that she is connected with. spending time on her page is both encouraging and inspiring. i love her. you will too.
this is her:
 she also has an AMAZING clothing line that is about to release their winter line. i am SO excited. if you buy anything from Project Love you can support my ministry too! simply by typing "create" into the coupon code box, a portion of the proceeds will fund our missionary endeavors here in LA.
here's me rocking some P Love:

take heart.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Live your life.

My sister said something profound today,

"I haven't been living my life lately, I've been letting life live me."

What she meant was that she felt like she didn't have any control.. she was just letting time carry her from one moment to the next. Hoping that somehow, even without taking responsibility for things, everything would be okay. Today she discovered that she needs to live again. Really live. This requires effort. It also requires humility to admit failures and vision to become who she was created to be.

This was a healthy reminder to me. Am I living? Or is life living me? Am I making wise decisions and being a good steward of what God has entrusted me with? My time? My money? My gifts? My relationships?

So I've decided the best thing to do is grab a holiday drink from Starbucks and.. once again.. engage in a heart-to-heart with God. The best way for me to do this is to journal.

I write my name. Then my roles. Then who I want to be remembered for in every role I have. Then I look at my week. How do I want to spend my time? Then my money. I decide how I'm doing.. like if I'm being generous or frivolous, or whatever. I think about anything that I need to do that I am putting off because of laziness, or procrastination. Then I put it in my schedule. Doing all of this reminds me that I am not a victim of my circumstances. It really doesn't matter what comes against me, it does not have to determine how I live.

When we are convinced in our hearts that we are secure in Christ, we no longer get tossed around by hardships. It doesn't mean that we won't have struggles.. the Bible promises that we will have trials. But Jesus also tells us to "take heart" because He has overcome the world. In Christ we are over-comers.

Without vision, we go astray, we get caught up, distracted, and overwhelmed. We live be default rather than living with purpose. Vision get us back on track.

That sister of mine is a wise lady.

Okay now, its time to grab a latte and get back on track. Perhaps I'll see you at Starbucks.

Proverbs 29:18 The Message (MSG)

If people can't see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
   they are most blessed.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Cayla, Torie, Ellie, and Maddie.

These women of God are teaching me so much about how to live. They are a part of the creative arts ministry I lead at YWAM LA and their hearts are pure gold. Cayla is 16, I think Torie and Ellie are 12, and Maddie is 10.
I admire the way these young ones love Jesus. They just love Him. This past weekend they taught me a powerful lesson about having the heart of a servant.

On Sunday our group of Discipleship Training School students (ranging in age from 18-28) performed a drama at a church event and these younger girls were a part of the performance. This meant that we had a more intense rehearsal on Friday with extra work to be done, and it also meant that I needed everyone to be on their best behavior Sunday because we were serving another ministry.

Cayla, Torie, Ellie and Maddie were amazing. They were always early to everything we did, they genuinely treated me with love, and though their role in the show not as large as others, they worked as if they were literally about to perform for Jesus Christ Himself. They served us with with an attitude that showed they were truly honored to be a part of what we were doing.

Because of the fact that the DTS is only 6 months long it means that I am getting new students frequently. Every half year we get a new group. But these young girls live on the YWAM campus so they are always a part of what we do.. in reality they could very much take it for granted because they know that as my little sisters here, they will always be invited to join us. But somehow, though they've been with me for years, they still act totally grateful to be involved.

This beautiful attitude of humility reminded me of how I am to be in everything I do. I am to be grateful and serve knowing that it is an honor to be involved in what Jesus is doing on earth. I am to be childlike in my faith, positive in my attitude, and a servant in my actions. I am to more like Cayla, and like Torie, and like Ellie and like Maddie, in all that I do, because they resemble our Savior.

Ephesians 6:5-9 The Message (MSG)5-8 "Servants, respectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don't just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ's servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you're really serving God."


"I am tired of holding onto my old pants that don't fit anymore. It is time that I buy new ones. No one is going to check the tags of my clothes to see if it says medium or large.. so I just need to be happy being me." 

My friend said this to me back in October, not realizing the profoundness of what she was saying. Her name is Dorothea. She is lovely and Swiss.

Dorothea is seriously a hero. She has overcome some intense battles in the area of body image and beauty, she is a blessing and an encouragement to SO many women. A few years ago she arrived to YWAM LA as a student, she mostly spoke Swiss German but being the courageous little firework that she is, she managed to learn English within a few months. She is bold and hilarious and most people would never have guessed the struggle she was facing in her heart when it came to her own physical appearance. 

She tells a story of how one day she complained to me about how she looked, basically saying that she wasn't beautiful because of her size. Being someone passionately against that kind of talk, I told her that she was never to speak like that about herself again. It was a brief interaction but God used it dramatically. Over the course of the next few months God began to speak to her about her appearance, her size, and her beauty.. overwhelming her with truth in ways that she couldn't deny. He lavished His love on her and renewed her mind to a place of freedom and healing. Today she is a mighty woman of faith that is always reminding women that they are "never to speak negatively about their appearance ever again" because of the truth that they are made in the image of an all-beautiful God. Dorothea is passionately leading young women into freedom, showing them who they are in Christ and leading them in how to embrace and really love their appearance.  She speaks out confidently that it doesn't matter if you are a small, medium, large or even XL, its about embracing what we can't change and changing what we can, in order to bestow God's beauty in us to the world. 


She's ridiculously beautiful. Europeans tend to be I think. I met her backstage at Fashion Week, she was a volunteer like me. She's here in LA for a few months to learn English. She must learn quickly because she speaks really well.

She asked me about my life. What do I do for a living? What is a missionary? Why don't I get paid? Why do I care so much about the models? Why do I care so little about fashion?

Why am I trusting Jesus when I can't even see Him?

I was able to share my story of how He healed me of bulimia. How He freed me from getting my value from others and deriving my worth from guys. I shared about how He has been working in my family, giving me a new identity, and filling me with vision for the future.

I also let her know that its not always easy. I still struggle often and am frequently left crying out for God to come through, again.

She hadn't heard much about God before but after my story she opened up about her precious best friend who recently committed suicide, after an agonizing battle with an eating disorder. Her other best friend is getting healed of her eating disorder after her "recent encounter with God". Marieke was not sure what it meant to trust God, but she knew she was interested.

So this past Sunday we drove our big shuttle bus an extra hour to pick her up and take her to church with us. It was beautiful. She was so excited to spend time with us and hear stories from the other Christians about how God has taken care of them. Right before we went to church she shared, "I think you are all so brave for trusting in a God that you can't see. I want to trust Him but I am just afraid that He isn't real."

Then at church something amazing happened. Marieke met God. She didn't know how to describe it in words but all she could exclaim to me was "I feel like a different person! This morning I woke up and everything was just the same, now I feel hope... I feel God!"

Marieke is a magnificent disciple of Jesus now, praying and reading His word. Her life is so valuable, it is an encouragement to me that boldness in Christ really does change lives. I am so grateful for my new sister and friend, she is such a gift.

a thankful heart

On Sunday morning I woke up feeling like rubbish. Physically, I was actually pretty healthy. But emotionally I was feeling a bit like garbage. It was only a few minutes of dumpster feelings, but it was long enough to remind me of something VERY important.


See, the source of my funk was the idea that I had fallen behind and I was overwhelmed by all of the things I wanted to change in my life. I was focusing on all kinds of things that either weren't true or just weren't productive.
To invite you deeper into my heart, here were some of my struggles:
- Feeling physically unattractive
- Feeling like I dress badly and am not stylish
- Feeling like my house isn't decorated nicely
- Feeling constantly behind in my work
- Feeling like I should be doing more to learn Spanish before I go to Chile in December
- Feeling like I don't do a good enough job loving Shaun
- Wondering what people think of me
- Hoping I am making God happy
- Wondering if I am wasting my gifts

Those are just some of them.

So that morning when I woke up and felt terribly, I immediately had the thought
'Jessica, You are so focused on what is wrong you have forgotten that you actually have a wonderful life.'
I think that was a gentle reminder from God to get my heart back on track.

After brushing my teeth I sat down with my Bible, my journal, and began a list of all of the things that I was thankful for. It was so refreshing to remember again how much there was to be grateful for! Then as I went throughout my day I also asked my friends to tell me what they were thankful for, and together we practiced gratitude.

There is so much power in being thankful, because as we meditate on all of the gifts in life we realize just how blessed we really are... and all of the other stuff just dissolves. Gratitude also brings humility, it reminds us that all we have is a gift from God, and we are to praise Him for His constant goodness. 

So I encourage you today to listen to God's word in 1 Thessalonians chapter 5 when He tells us,
"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."
Meet my husband's new girlfriend. They adore each other.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

I have a friend who is two. Her name is Lily. She happens to be in love with my husband, Shaun. He happens to love her too.

I noticed something about Lily. I notice it in most little children...

They are rarely stressed out.

For instance, Lily and her parents are going to South Africa for a few months to reach out to orphans and others in need. They will need to figure out housing, food, ministry partners, and all sorts of other details about the trip. But here we are, 2 months from their departure date, and Lily has not once freaked out about what she will be eating in Africa. I have yet to see her cry about what she will wear once she arrives there. Its interesting. She just trusts that her parents, Robert and Jenny, will do their job to provide for her every need, because they are parents, and that is their job.

I am different though. When my parent, God, (He calls Himself my Father), tells me I am going somewhere, then my tendency is to freak out and go crazy with questions like, "How will this work?", "Where will the money come from?", "What about food?"... Yet Jesus, when He walked on the earth, told me to be like a little child, and trust that I will be taken care of.

So I think my encouragement for today is that we all think a little less like grownups, and learn something from Lily. Trust our Dad in heaven to care for our every need, because its His job and He says He will do it.

Matthew 18:3

The Message (MSG)
 2-5For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me.

Matthew 6:31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Monday, October 10, 2011

While Shaun and I were sitting on the bench with our soup he said something worth documenting. We somehow ended up on the topic of death, and how the reality that life ends helps us to live meaningful lives. He started to tell me about his funeral... I will try to type it like he said it,

"I think about my funeral pretty often. It helps me to know how to live my life. Because I think about the types of people that I hope will show up at my funeral. When I imagine it.. I hope that homeless people show up.. and drug addicts.. and alcoholics.. and skate park kids... and people who were in jail, like Duffy.. and broken.. hurting people. I want those people to come because I want to have made a difference in their lives. I want them to be able to feel it when I go to heaven, because somehow my existence made their time here better. I also want my friends and family to show up, but thats a given. Knowing all this helps me to live the right way. If I want homeless people at my funeral then I need to be developing friendships with them now, and writing to Duffy in prison, and pouring into the skaters, and helping the guys at the park get off drugs..."

Shaun wants his funeral to point to the fact that he lived a meaningful life, that he constantly shared the love of Christ with people who desperately needed it. Most especially people who are easily overlooked. Shaun is a rare kind of man, his love for God is evident in everything he does. He is an evangelist without a doubt. He views every interaction with every person as an opportunity to share the gospel of Jesus through both words, and loving actions.

Last night Brian Sumner said something that I thinks sums up the way Shaun lives,
"Don't pray for a "divine appointment" to share the good news of Christ with someone. Take advantage of the fact that your entire life is a "divine appointment". Once you leave this earth you won't be able to share with anybody else about Christ, so make the most of every opportunity."

Let's make a point to live meaningful lives. Let's go beyond just loving our families, and our close friends. Let's get uncomfortable. Let's love those that are desperate for love. For Shaun its the homeless, the drug addicts, and the skaters. For Mrs. Wetherby its the students of Rampart High School that stroll into her office late for class everyday, so caught up in life's issues that they've forgotten to care about others. For Shane, Christina, and Leah its the high fashion models that are dying to be successful, and losing themselves in the process. For Conrad and Bonnie its the young people that come through YWAM LA every year, giving Christianity one last chance before they walk away for good. For Nova it is the artists, the entertainers, the famous.. the ones that have gained the world at the cost of losing their souls. For Hayley it is the people of Afghanistan, for JP, Daniel and Kimberly it is the skaters of China, for Bobby its the Thai. Who is it for you? Who will you go out of your way to love? There are people in your life that are longing to be loved, people that may not otherwise be reached if you don't do something.

So be bold sweet one, being afraid and remaining comfortable isn't worth it. If people were never bold with me, I would not be here. Neither would Meredith. Don't allow fear of what others might think hinder you from being a light. Just shine. In whatever way that looks for you. You are going to be great at it. You were made to love. If you end up reaching out to someone and it goes badly, don't even worry about it. We call those "fail stories"... everyone needs a few.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I'm still sweaty and not as fragrant as I could be, but dance class just ended a few minutes ago and I am too excited to shower. 

Okay. I will tell you a secret. Before today only Jesus and I ever talked about this. But you can be part of it now too. So...I was thinking about quitting dance. Not abruptly, just slowly, discreetly... and spiritually haha. It would look something like this...

I would stop taking as many classes as I once did. I would change my focus to the other "gifts God gave me". I would eventually change my role at YWAM so that I no longer incorporated dance into what I do. Then I would be so engrossed in my "other passions" that dancing would simply become a memory. It would be good though, I would talk about "God's heart for me to focus on the other things that I am better at". Maybe I would say it was writing, or speaking, or hanging with models, or being a wife. Who knows. It doesn't matter though, because the main point is that I would phase dance out of my life, claiming it was God's best for me. 

Today I had an awesome realization of how ridiculous I am. See, my desire to quit dance had nothing to do with God. It was all me. It was an idea that birthed out of months and years of quietly comparing myself to people I love. I have watched my close friends pursue dance and thrive at it. I know so many beautiful people that are extraordinary dancers, like professionals that are sought after and doing incredibly well in it. I would watch their videos, or go to their shows, and be in awe as I adored their gift. They are breathtaking. 

But then I would get back to my home, go to my classes, or perform in my shows, and I'd wrestle with feeling inadequate... even sometimes embarrassed. Though I could see positive things coming from my dance, like hearts being touched, and lives being impacted. I still had the images of my friends and their abilities playing in the back of my mind, and all I could hear was that I was making a fool of myself.

So then last night actually I was trying to be "mature in my thinking", and I figured that pursuing dance was an unwise decision for me. I am not the best at it. Perhaps spending time doing it is actually a waste and I would be better off doing something else.

But just now I went to dance class. (Actually dance class came to me- we have classes on the YWAM LA campus on Saturdays now... so its basically at my house.) About 25 people came and the instructor is a professional dancer who loves God and is passionate about using her craft to bring Him glory. So she was not shy to talk about Him during class. At one point she basically read my mind.. 

She said (to all of us, but it spoke to me), "You are looking at the people around you and trying to measure up to their ability. But God's not doing that. He has given you a certain ability and He wants to know if you will be faithful with what He has given you. Don't look at the others in the room, or compare yourself to the professionals on TV. Use the gift God has given you to its fullness, that is what God wants for you." 

That was it for me. I have been so caught up in comparison that I was willing to forfeit the gift God gave me, even though He has been using it to encourage hearts and change lives. God is not comparing me to my close friends, He is simply asking that I be faithful with the gift He has given me. He can even expand the gift if I will be faithful with the little I have! 

So now I am just excited. Ready to live this out. I am ready to stop comparing. I am also ready to be faithful with what He has given me. I will dance when I can, and do my best, no matter what it looks like. I will also be more excited to see me friends dance, because it all points to God being awesome and beautiful in His creation. This applies to other things as well, not just dance. Today I will try to figure out other areas of life that I can be more faithful.

What have you been given? Are you being faithful with it? Perhaps it is  a gift of dance as well? Or a sport? Or an intelligent brain, a unique creativity, or a compassionate heart? The gift of encouragement or hospitality? We have all bee given gifts that are meant to be used to the glory of God. 

Look at your life. Where are you living? Who are the people you interact with daily? Both in person but also through facebook, blog, texting, or phonecalls. How can you be faithful with what you have been given today? I will do it too. Let's try to find ways to use the gifts we have been given to make the lives of others better, and to glorify God in our faithfulness. 

Oh and don't bother comparing yourself. Its all lies anyway. You are enough. Just be the very best you that you can be and may God bless you extravagantly today! 

 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones." Luke 16:10 (NLT)

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16(NIV)

I was looking for some great videos to share of my friends tearing it up on the dance floor. I couldn't find any recent ones on youtube of Kala Bruce, Melissa Danley, Bethany Spengler, Ashton Grant, or Bethany Gunn.. But I put up some older favorites of Hillary and Kala. I also liked this older one of Audrey! Basically I am just posting these to share my love for these people and the fact that I deeply believe in them. I hope you enjoy!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

You are quite lovely. Strong. Wiser than you know. It is going to be okay. All of it. I know it is difficult not to worry. But try. Perhaps today instead of worrying.. just pray. I know things look scary, and you often wonder if you are good enough... but just breathe. You are exactly enough. Your dreams are wonderful. You can even dream bigger if you would like. Also, be more gentle in the way you think about yourself. You are harsh and it is not necessary. Be more kind toward yourself. You are kind towards others. You are more valuable than you realize. You have been doing a great job. When you look in the mirror today, find something to enjoy. Less criticism, more grace. Remember to believe in yourself, the world has plenty of terrible things to say about you, you don't need to add to it. Your life is short. Your time on this planet will be over before you know it. Try to spend less time impressing people that you don't like, less time pursuing things you don't need, less time chasing things that won't satisfy. Be a blessing. Love extravagantly today. Buy someone a treat. Write a love note. Pick up rubbish that isn't yours. Smile. Live a life of meaning. A passionate life. You are so adored. If you weren't here, we would be missing out. You are not simply a life in motion, you are a gift. Each breath that you breathe is evidence that your loving Creator delights in your presence. We delight in your presence too. Be present. Don't worry about the future, or dwell on the past. Be present. Here right now. 
We love your presence. 
You are adorable.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Britt Nicole- The Lost Get Found

"Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
'cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found"

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

 “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs."
Matthew 5:3-10 NLT

Friday, September 23, 2011

Listen with your heart, you will understand. -Pocahontas.


"I didn't make any mistakes on you."

That's what He told me during the Diesel Black Gold fashion show in New York City last week. 

Surrounded by mostly naked models- helping my precious Canadian girl get her long thin legs into the metallic pants and strappy heals- cameras flashing, stylists stressing, hairstylists spraying her fly-aways while I quickly tuck in the sparkly tank top, working incredibly hard to make it appear effortless... 

This was the first show that I really felt it. I started to look at their faces. I marveled at the perfection of their features. Their noses were petite, their skin was clear, blemish free. Their legs were long, thighs thin, stomachs flat. Most of them were basically shapeless, small breasts, little bottoms, and no cellulite. 

This wasn't my first show. I had been with gorgeous models all week and had not yet struggled with feeling inadequate. Today was the first day. 

This was my first show that involved male models though. That was intriguing and terrifying. Actually it only became scary when I was assigned to dress one of them. I couldn't fathom helping a man put on his clothes. Actually I am laughing as I type this because of how funny it still is to me. Silently I was looking around the room praying that one of the other male models would take off their clothes before mine did, just so I could get over the initial shock of seeing a strange attractive man in boxers. But God was awesome, he protected me and last minute a male dresser showed up so they switched me over to dressing a female model. Maybe next year I'll be ready for that. This year I'm not. 

So back to my feelings. As I am looking at these beautiful young women I was remembering my eating disorder. My thoughts immediately turned hopeless. Even when I was starving myself, even when I was forcing myself to vomit after I ate, I still didn't look like these girls. My nose is bigger, my thighs are thicker, my skin is not as smooth... I am just not enough like them to do what they do. 

But just as the hopelessness of inadequacy started to settle into my mind, like the kind of mean fog that causes car accidents, my Savior intervened. 


My smile was so large, I mean huge, like it went all the way up to my forehead. God didn't make any mistakes on me! The way I look is perfect, it is exactly how I am supposed to look, and it is everything I need it to be in order to walk out the plans God has for me. I wanted to run around and tell people but I wasn't standing by any Christians and I am very aware of how strange it sounds to start a story by saying, "Guess what God just told me in my mind!?!" 

So instead I stopped looking at the other girls with envy and began again to look upon them with love. I prayed for them. I wandered around encouraging them. I treated the male models like normal guys. I do not want to be reduced to just being my outward appearance and so I made a point to treat them like they were more than just pretty faces. 

Amazing. Actually yesterday while I was cleaning I had a weak moment while I was remembering my models from last week, and I momentarily thought of my shortcomings again, but don't worry, it didn't last long...within one second of my yucky thoughts I accidentally smashed my head into a cabinet. It was painful and kind of hilarious because I couldn't keep thinking badly about myself, I realized how silly I was being and again prayed for my girls. 

The thing with our appearance is that there are lots of opinions. There are lots of voices that will tell us who we are and whether or not we are good enough, or small enough, or valuable enough. But only one of those opinions is true. If we do not grab ahold of the truth and align our thoughts with it, we will be stuck in negativity and miss out on the marvelous freedom we were designed for. 

I was taking a walk this morning as the sun was coming up. The sky was pink. That is the magnificent work of our beautiful Creator. I spend most weekends near the ocean. It is big, and blue, and green, and lovely. That is the magnificent work of our beautiful Creator. I am from Colorado. The mountains are perfect, the snow sparkles, autumn smells sweet, and the forests are breathtaking. That is the magnificent work of our beautiful Creator. 

You are one of a kind. You are unique, gorgeous, brilliant in appearance, intelligent beyond what you even know about yourself, fun, gifted, precious, love-able, valuable, strong. You are the magnificent work of our Beautiful Creator. He didn't make any mistakes on you. You are exactly enough for what He has called you to. 

"All beautiful you are my darling, there is no flaw in you." Song of Songs 4:7