5 things I've learned from 5 weeks of being a Mom

Number one. I've learned to apply eyeliner with one hand. 
In fact I've learned to do a whole lot of things with one hand because often times baby girl just wants to be held and she doesn't care if her Mama's got things to do. I'll probably start putting her in the baby carrier more so I can wear her on my chest and still have both hands free, but until then I'll continue tackling life Bethany Hamilton style. 

Number two. I've mastered the art of getting ready quickly. 
I thought I was pretty good at that in the past because I lived with a whole bunch of low maintenance skateboarders who don't tolerate high maintenance women, but having a baby has taken it to a new level. I'm officially at a point where I can be dressed with my makeup ready and hair done in less than ten minutes, and sure I'm usually wearing the same outfit I wore earlier in the week and my hair & makeup are staying pretty simple these days but still, I'm counting it as a success. 

Number three. I've learned to live without dairy. 
This one is painful because I'm a HUGE dairy fan but our babe was having a heck of a time digesting my breast milk, crying at every feeding, so in desperation I took the advice of loved ones and fully cut dairy out of my diet. It worked. Though I miss mac and cheese with my whole heart Eloise has been 100% happier about life so I'm sticking it out for a while until her digestive system is more developed and able to process dairy protein. 

Number four. I've learned to always always pack a second outfit. 

Because this little girl can poop! My friend Hillary told me yesterday that it's even a good idea to start packing an extra shirt for myself in case our lady has a poop blow out while I'm holding her. That's wisdom. Since we are on the topic I'll also say that Eloise passes gas like a grown man and it is so so funny. Literally there have been times where I heard her and thought it was Shaun. The other day she farted so loudly in church that her Auntie on the other side of our row heard it. Shaunny was so proud. 

Finally... Number five... This lesson has come with plenty of tears and it is by far the most significant thing I'm learning... 

I am learning to embrace my limitations as invitations to grow. 

On the days when nothing feels normal and I'm consumed with all things baby and all I want is a shower or to get up and leave the house real quick but I know that neither of those things are possible because Eloise needs my attention and nothing ever seems to happen "real quick" anymore, I have found that I have two options. I can either get frustrated that things aren't going the way I wish they were or I can look for ways to make my new life as a Mama the best it can possibly be. I can enjoy the luxury of dry shampoo when a shower is not going to happen, or turn on great music and make my home a place I love to hang out when going out isn't feasible. I can put different systems in place so that I am a boss at leaving the house with a baby, like always having the diaper bag packed so I can just grab it and go. And those extra sleepy days that follow the extra long nights I have when our little Elle-baby wants to nurse every 2 hours? I can make myself a yummy coffee, snuggle sweet Eloise in my arms and marathon watch episodes of the Office on Netflix, because Michael Scott is hysterical, Jim and Pam are my favorite TV couple, and all of that together makes fatigue so much more bearable. 

Mostly I'm learning to just adore this stage of life that Eloise is in, knowing that in a week or two she will have already changed again and I really won't ever get this time with her back.
Praise the Lord for 5 weeks of being a Mom and all I get to learn along the way.

Photos by @sarahgrunderphotography when #eloise_marie was 2 weeks old. 

Gender reveal party!

I made a video of our Gender Reveal Party from a few weeks ago! 

It was so much fun I thought you should be able to be a part of it too. 

...I know... look at me getting all video savvy :) 

Fly to Spain with us -- VLOG

Guess what guys! 

We made our first official Vlog from our flight to Spain!! 

Hip hip hooray!

More will be coming soon! Enjoy!!! 

I'm going to be an introvert for now.

Thanks to jet-lag we were awake at 3:30 yesterday morning which made for the perfect opportunity to walk to the beach and watch the sunrise. It was SO beautiful! Excuse the slightly crooked photo! My fingers were frozen. 

I am a super extrovert married to another super extrovert, if there is such a thing. We are such "people people" that we make normal extroverts cringe. Really. We are constantly surrounded by friends— we love making friends, we love inviting friends to sleep over, and we love sleeping over. When we travel we are often asked whether we would like to stay in a hotel alone together or in someone’s home, we always prefer the home because we love getting to know the people who live there. Last year we were given a weekend vacation in Palm Springs and when we arrived to our little condo it took everything in us not to call our friends and ask them to join us because the place was so cool. Most nights we have at least one skater sleeping over, this past week we had around 15 there every night. Whenever we go to a new country I can’t help but invite my friends who live nearby to come visit. My thought process goes something like this, “I’m going to Spain! Perfect! I should tell every European friend I have to come see me!” or “Yes! We are going to Korea! That’s close to China! Let’s ask my friends there to come stay with us!” I do it in America too- I am always inviting different friends to come stay with us in Michigan for Christmas, and whether we are visiting Shaun’s fam or mine in Colorado, they are both accustomed to us spending every waking minute hanging with people we love. We love each other. And we love friends. That is how we do life. 

But something new is happening for us. Maybe it’s the baby girl who is growing inside of me right now or maybe it’s all the words in my head that desperately need to be written on paper and spoken on camera. Maybe it’s simply a need for balance. Whatever it is, Shaun and I are both certain that right now, this time while I’m in Spain, is a time for me to be more introverted. It’s not a time for me to round up everyone I love and invite them to come stay with us. It’s not even a time for me to hit the streets and start making new friends. I don’t need to pack my days with coffee dates and lunch dates and I don’t need to launch a small group or start a ministry that will last beyond my time here. Actually what I need is time to write, time make the videos that I’ve been planning to make for months and months now, and time to rest. We hope I’ll blog a lot while I’m here. We hope I’ll finish my book too. We hope my Spanish will improve and that our marriage will be strengthened and that the few visitors we do have coming will feel richly blessed by my focused attention. We also know that I’m not an introvert. So as much as I will love taking time to focus on these few particular things, I’ll also treasure the time I get to spend with the friends I already have here in Barcelona. I don’t have many. But the ones I have are gold, and hanging out with them will be one of my favorite things to do.

So that’s that. 

You’ll hear from me more than you normally do on this little blog and I’m sincerely looking forward to that. There is so much I have been wanting to say to you and I feel grateful to finally have the time set aside to say it. I pray that this place remains one of genuine encouragement to you. As I’ve said before, I won’t pretend to be perfect here and I hope you don’t either. What you’ll get here will be real thoughts about real life. I’ll continue to share openly about things as I see them, and I’ll do my best to keep reminding you about the living God, Who in His tender love, is working everything out for our good and for His glory.

You are precious. Thanks for visiting my blog. And please forgive me in advance if I don’t invite you to sleepover over during these next few months. I hope you understand.   

Gratefully, 

your super-extroverted, attempting-to-be-introverted, 

friend. 

baby girl. gummy vitamins. & our future family.

Waiting a while to blog is a bother because I end up with so much I want to say that I just can't seem to say any of it quite right. Rather than attempting to type words that flow perfectly, which will probably leave me with yet another day of blog-less-ness, I'm just going to spill my thoughts as they come. Future posts will be more... articulate... but today's will be on the sporadic side of life. 

This weekend we found out we are having a baby girl which is at the forefront of my brain from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep. She is wiggling a lot these days and three people other than me have already felt her kick, which delights me in ways I didn't know I could be delighted. My sister was the first person to feel her move and now every time I see her she goes straight for my belly. She talks to it. Rubs it. Pokes it. Then talks to it again. The baby moves most when I'm laying so Meredith has also forced me to lay down on several occasions just to feel baby girl dance. I love that people are excited because it makes me more excited too. 

On a dead serious note... they don't sell Gummy Prenatal Vitamins. At least not at any of the stores near me. I have checked multiple places. I am not incapable of swallowing vitamins, I've done it most of my life, but for whatever reason being pregnant has suddenly made me want to invest in my very own Gummy Vitamins. I've always thought Gummy Vitamins were incredible inventions because... well it's obvious isn't it? Vitamins that taste like gummy bears? Yes please. But this desire has led me to utter disappointment in discovering that they don't exist. They sell Adult Gummy Vitamins. They even sell Fiber Gummies for "kids of all ages". But who do they leave out? The pregnant ladies. Maybe they think that if we are about to have a kid then its time we get serious and swallow our vitamins. I'm more like, hey vitamin people, in a few months I am going to be squeezing out a watermelon sized human from a hole the size of a dime, the least you could do is give me a piece of candy that will fill my body with nutrition and my mouth with joy. 

But no. They don't sell them. Darn vitamin people. 

We were supposed to leave for Spain this Thursday but due to some visa issues we pushed our flights back a week. Now we are leaving March 4th and returning June 3rd. My due date is July 4th. We are both excited to go but haven't done anything at all to pack, so this 6 days is a gift straight from Heaven. 

People have asked how my life will change after having the baby. 

Will we still travel? 

Will we still work as unsalaried missionaries? 

Will we continue living in a room at the church? 

Will she be a skateboarder? 

Who is going to be buying her the pink helmet she'll need? 

All good questions. 

Here are some short answers: 

We know that traveling is a major part of the lifestyle God has called us to as a family so we are prepared to be mobile with the babe. We don't know what that means exactly but we are excited to learn. We also know that we want to be rooted in Los Angeles, which means life won't be quite as transient as it has been the last several years. Together Shaun and I plan to keep loving God, loving each other, and we'll figure out together how to maintain a healthy lifestyle for our family. Also, children fly for free until they are two years old, so you can count on us taking advantage of that as much as possible.

We will continue working as unsalaried missionaries for Youth With a Mission LA- Shaun will still be directing Calling All Skaters & I will keep leading Beauty Arise. We also plan to continue serving Models For Christ. My particular responsibilities will likely shift so that I can focus my time, energy, and breastmilk on my little girl, but we have no plans to stop doing ministry. Having children has always been part of our vision so over the last few years we have specifically been building our ministries in a way that they can continue to flourish with children and families involved. Our hope is that in the coming months I will be writing and speaking more and that some of my other duties can be delegated to wonderful, willing friends & coworkers. 

We will be moving out of our room at the church sometime in the summer. We do not know where we will be living yet and are grateful for your prayers on that. There is a prospective housing opportunity on the horizon but nothing confirmed at this point. We aren't stressed about it but mostly we just aren't thinking about it. That strategy is working at the moment but we know that as my tummy grows, the reality of needing a home will become more obvious. I'll keep you posted. 

She will skate. She will also dance sometimes and probably do a million other things too. We have loved the way our parents helped us to discover our passions by releasing us to do lots of different things and we want to do that same thing with our kids. 

I'm pretty sure my Mama will be the one buying her the pink helmet. Or my Aunt or my Grandma. These are the 3 people in my life who NEVER FAIL to remind me how important helmets are. They'll probably buy Shaun a helmet too, though I am doubtful that he'll wear it.
(PS. I am going to regret typing that part... I'll never hear the end of it.) 

My ramblings are coming to a close but I still have lots to say so you can expect another post coming soon. I hope you have a happy Tuesday! Thank you for being such a faithful friend & for following my blog.
You guys are a HUGE encouragement to me.

Do you and Shaun fight?

“Do you and Shaun fight?”

People ask me all the time if Shaun and I fight and honestly I struggle to answer because the question itself is a vulnerable one and I feel pressure not to say the wrong thing. I can’t help but try to guess why they are asking. Maybe they are in a relationship of their own that involves a lot of fighting and they are trying to determine whether or not fighting is okay. Maybe their parents fought a lot growing up and so now they would rather stifle their relationship issues than end up yelling about them. Maybe they strongly value fighting as an important part of relating and if I say that I don’t fight then I am revealing an apparent flaw in my marriage. I also wonder if they use the word “fight” to mean “disagree” or “argue”, because to me those terms are very different, but to others they can often be one in the same. When I imagine fighting I picture yelling, screaming, name-calling, storming out of rooms, the “silent treatment”, ignoring each other, and saying hurtful or malicious things. So to answer the question of whether Shaun and I fight. No. We don’t. We haven’t “fought” yet in our almost 7 years of dating, engagement, and marriage. We have disagreed plenty of times, and we have hurt each other’s feelings plenty more, but we have not fought. 

Shaun and I are naturally pretty laid back people, so exploding isn’t really our style anyway, but the main reason why we don’t fight is because we decided long ago that we wanted a healthy loving marriage and so fighting just doesn't fit our vision.  This understanding has motivated us to be intentional about the way we go about our communicating, and it has helped us to navigate our way through times of conflict. 

There are a few practical things that have helped Shaun and I maintain a healthy, loving, explosion-free marriage and I thought it could be fun to share them with you. I am not writing as a professional wife or a professional counselor. I just share this stuff the same way somebody shares a yummy recipe, knowing that in a couple years the recipe will be modified a little upon discovering newer better ways, but for now what we have here is something great and it is my delight to pass it on just as it is. I am speaking in the context of marriage but feel free to pull this stuff apart and apply it to your friendships, dating relationships, and even the way you relate to family members or coworkers. 

Always Assume Love.

A few days before we got married in 2009, Shaun’s older brother Jason gave us the advice to, “Always assume love,” and that little piece of wisdom has proven to be incredibly valuable to us. Assuming love is significant because it goes against our natural tendency. When our spouse says or does something hurtful, our initial reaction is to assume the worst, we immediately conclude they meant to hurt us or that the reason behind their action was something negative like selfishness or laziness or a lack of love for us. But when we are committed to “assuming love” then instead of jumping to conclusions we are able to respond to our spouse’s action with grace and calmly communicate what hurt us. Assuming love gives our spouse the space to explain themselves and even to make mistakes, as opposed to assuming the worst which puts them on the defensive and causes the situation to escalate quickly. This principle allows for conflicts to be resolved promptly and it also diffuses potential fights before they happen. I try to live by this principle in all of my relationships, not just marriage, because I am convinced it makes everything way better.

Let God be God.

This part might be the most important advice I can give you, but I’m putting it on here second because I learned it second. Obviously if you know me at all then you know I’m a believer in God and more specifically a follower of Christ. I strongly believe that God is the One in whom we are to place our trust. 

Well before getting married I knew that it was my responsibility to trust God with meeting my needs, but something tricky happened after Shaun and I tied the knot, it became extra tempting to look to Shaun, instead of God, to be my source of fulfillment. When I felt insecure I wanted Shaun to make me feel beautiful, when I felt unhappy, I wanted Shaun to make me feel better, when I was scared or upset or struggling with anything, my initial response was to look to Shaun to provide relief. This is a problem because Shaun, like me, is just a person. He has issues like I do, and even on his best day, he can’t be everything I need. As much as Shaun’s encouragement and support is vital in our marriage, if I revolve my feelings around his words or actions then our relationship quickly becomes imbalanced and unhealthy. The other problem with me acting like this is that I start to assume that Shaun should just know what I need or what I feel, and since he doesn’t (because he isn’t a telepathic mind-reader) then I end up offended most of the time because he keeps failing to meet my expectations. That’s no good. 

God knows what I need. God knows my thoughts. God desires to be my source and His design is that both Shaun and I look to Him to satisfy the longings of our hearts. As His love permeates our individual lives, then we will both find strength to love each other in the best way possible. When we aren’t relying on each other for peace or security then we can enjoy each other and really support each other when one of us is struggling. If my peace and joy come from Christ then when Shaun is stressed I can encourage him, pray with him and even help him to get organized, because I am not relying on him to make me feel good. But if I am looking to Shaun for my joy then when he is stressed I end up stressed too, simply because I am reacting to his attitude. 

Letting God be God means that we live in response to who God is and we love in response to how God loves. “We love each other because he loved us first.” (1 John 4:19)

Take Care of Yourself.

I won’t take long on this point because it’s obvious and because this is a blog post, not a novel. So my point here is simply that we love better when we are healthy - physically, spiritually and emotionally. This means that we do our spouses a huge favor when we take care of ourselves and communicate our needs. Sometimes Shaun needs to skate because he has spent all day working on a computer or sitting in meetings and by the time we are having dinner he feels like he might go crazy. Sometimes I need to read and write because I feel emotional and need time to process what I feel. Sometimes we need a nap, or an extended break from hanging out with lots of people. Sometimes we need to read the Bible and get real perspective on our current circumstance. Sometimes we need a date or time to have sex, other times we desperately need to be around family. Whatever the needs are it is important to recognize them, talk about them, and help each other get them met. 

Friendship. Romance. Sex. 

These three elements are extremely important in marriage and if one of them is lacking it is highly likely that one or both of you will feel it. If there is a romance deficit in the marriage then it is usually the wife who feels it first, if there is a lack of relating sexually it is typically the husband who will notice, however it’s not always like that and really my point is not who feels it first but the fact that all three are needed to sustain a healthy loving marriage. 

Communicate Clearly.

I’ll close with this one because I really hope you don’t forget it. Remember earlier when I said that Shaun is NOT a telepathic mind-reader? Well it will serve us all very well to realize that none of us are able to read each other’s minds. Did you get that? You do NOT know what the people around you are thinking and they do NOT know what you are thinking either. You may be able to guess some of what they feel, you may even be able to discern a bit of what they are thinking, but mostly you do not know anything unless they have communicated it. Assuming that someone else knows what you think is a dangerous and unfair expectation. It is also an immature way of relating. Mature relationships require that both people involved openly talk about what they feel, need, and desire. If one of you has been hurt then it is not okay to assume the other person should know what they did wrong, because again, that reflects a lack of maturity. The hurt person is responsible to share specifically about what happened and allow space for the other person to explain themselves. Communicating clearly does not mean communicating loudly, yelling is not necessary in telling someone how you feel, even if you feel angry or hurt. Passive aggression is also not the same as clear communication. For instance if you continue to make plans to hang out with someone and they continue to cancel last minute, it is not clear communication to post a vague Facebook status about how much you hate being stood up. That is passive aggressive and it is not helpful in resolving your issue. Clear communication would look like calling your friend and letting them know directly that it feels hurtful or disrespectful when they cancel plans with you. 
I should also note that texting is not the best method to use when attempting to resolve conflicts. In fact I think its a really poor way to go about it. The same could be said about emails and facebook messages, any form of communication that keeps you from looking into each other’s eyes or hearing the sound of someone’s voice will be largely incomplete and leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding.

Clear communication in my marriage looks something like this- if I am feeling neglected because Shaun is out with skaters all weekend rather than hanging out with me, then instead of ignoring him or being irritable with him when he comes home, I can help us both by letting him know how I am feeling. Also if I “assume love” then I can assume he doesn’t know he is hurting me and then I can speak more gently to him when I am expressing why I feel badly. If I am really on top of my feelings I can actually tell him before the weekend that I desire to spend time with him. At that point he can tell me directly that he desires to do some skating. By sharing our desires we can make weekend plans that meet both of our needs and by Sunday night we can be snuggling each other and celebrating what an awesome weekend we just had. Sounds good right? I know. I think so too. 

Well that about wraps up “Relationship Advice 101 with Jess Hover.” I hope you are having a great week and if you have any further relationship questions feel free to holler at me by leaving a comment or emailing me at beautyarise@ywamla.org. Also for those of you on Instagram I hope to see photos of how you are choosing to #makedecemberbeautiful with @beautyarise! It’s only Day 2 and we are already having so much fun! Don’t miss out! 

a He & She list.

The other day Shaun and I were sitting together in a meeting and I started doodling this "He & She" list in my journal. He decided it was pretty fun and started contributing too. After we finished I liked it so much that I decided I would share it on my handy dandy blog.

And so here we are! I hope it is as fun for you to read as it was for us to make! 

He & She...

He is 28.

She is 26.

They met when she was 19 and he was 21.

He was born in Rochester Hills, Michigan.

She was born in Great Falls, Montana. 

He is a night owl.

She is an early bird.

He is logical. She is emotional. 

He is hilarious.

She thinks she is too.

They both love sushi and public speaking.

They also love breakfast burritos.

She walks. He rolls. (Get it?) 

She loves to throw parties.

He loves to attend them. 

He is afraid of spiders.

She is afraid of heights.

He is not afraid to tell a company when he is disappointed in their product.

She is not afraid to do outrageous things in public.

He has been excited about having children since they got married.

She is coming around to it.

She loves all things Disney. 

He thinks Disney is overpriced.

He loves getting a great deal and is excited about practical gifts.

She loves going to pretty places and is excited about extravagant gifts. 

They both love to talk about leadership.

They both love to travel. 

They both think cats and dogs are just okay.

(Actually he might hate them. But she is in denial about that a little bit.)

He loves to be active. She really does too.

They both love the movie The Santa Clause. 

They both love to do life with friends.

He drinks iced coffee with milk and one pump of hazelnut. 

She prefers sipping hot lattes through a straw.

They live in a church. But they are staying with family in Huntington Beach tonight. 

They both think you are pretty amazing for reading this all the way through. 

photos by @sarahgrunderphotography. 

some free relationship advice.

Last week was fashion week LA so my days were full and my "Writing Day Friday" was postponed. However in light of some recent conversations I have been having with some wonderful friends I want to share some free relationship advice. My advice is short and less than profound, but it's important and so I think it is worth sharing.

Be the type of person you want to date. 

Seems obvious right? If we want a person who is faithful then we ought to stop being the type of lady who flirts with everything that breathes, because a faithful man is looking for a faithful lady too. If we want a person who prioritizes family and has good morals then it's very likely he isn't the drunk guy hanging out at the club, which means we can go ahead and stop being the tipsy girl at the club, because "family & good morals guy" is looking for "family & good morals girl" and he knows she isn't the girl twerking in the club.

I am not encouraging us to base our lifestyles around looking for a significant other. Not even a little. But I am saying that singleness gives us an opportunity to become the very best versions of ourselves. We can take the time to develop our gifts, look for opportunities to serve others and pursue God like crazy. We can take risks that require great faith and we can jog and write letters and go to school. We can tell great stories and make gorgeous dinners for no reason and invite too many friends over for a girly movie and Thai food. We can do all kinds of wonderfully satisfying things that don't involve a special someone at all as we are being intentional about becoming the type of person we would want to date.

Anyway I'll finish with this... the idea of being the type of person you want to date doesn't stop at marriage. As a wife for over five years now, I am still trying to be the type of spouse that I would want to have. I want to have a husband who listens to me, prays for me, helps me fulfill the vision God has given me, reminds me of truth when my mind is bombarded with chaos, helps me with mundane life stuff, makes me laugh, and affirms me regularly... so instead of sitting around waiting for Shaun to do this to me... I do it for him first... because I still want to be the type of person I would want to date.

So that's my free advice on this Thursday. I hope it blesses you.

"Writing Day Friday" will commence tomorrow. I can't wait!

on slowing down.

On the flight home from New York City last week I decided that Fridays would be my writing days. I love to write and I think it is an important part of what I do so I wanted to create time in my life for it. Before I would set aside just a few hours in a day for writing because I never thought I was allowed to have a whole day. Taking a whole day was like taking an extra helping of dessert when I've already had some, greedy and selfish. But I have changed my mind on it. Partly because I think God led me to do it and partly because I learned recently that we are more effective when we group our tasks by similarity rather than jumping from one thing to the next all throughout the day. The lady at the conference said that it takes your brain something like 7 minutes to shift from one task to the next, so you end up losing time trying to multitask. She suggested planning your schedule in a way that keeps you doing the same type of job for longer chunks of time- a time for emails, a time for phone calls, a time for meetings... etc. It made sense to me because whenever I would give myself an hour to write I would feel rushed and depleted of creativity, distracted with thoughts of the never ending list of "other things" I needed to do soon. But this week was different. This week I planned my schedule like the lady said, working on MFC stuff all at once one day, and Beauty Arise stuff on a different day, and I saved the best for last, I made Friday my writing day. You can imagine how excited I was to wake up this morning, like a little kid on the first day of summer break. Thank you Lord for Friday.

I've been sitting here in a quiet space typing away with coffee at arms length and some water too so I don't die of dehydration, and classical music on my pandora station which is maybe a bit of an overkill but I thought it might make me feel even more like a real life writer. Everything is in place except of course the words, which I am trying to find now.

Sometimes I feel like I am racing, like I'm running through life at full speed attempting to fill my emptiness with busy-ness, afraid that if I slow down, then I'll feel, and that if I feel then I won't know what to do with my feelings and then I'll just dissolve into a puddle of mush on the ground. I don't even mean to do it. Its just hard to know how to focus and who to focus on and it seems like there are always so many things and people and needs fighting for my attention. So without knowing what to do I just race on full-speed ahead, hoping that if I get more done then the yucky feelings will die away. Of course they don't and they won't, not by racing at least. 

Almost 2 years ago I met with a pastor over coffee. Some would argue that she was actually the pastor’s wife but she also did pastor jobs so in my book she is a pastor too. Not only was she a pastor and the wife of a pastor but she was also a homeschooling mother to 6 children, and a working actress and model. You can imagine how bewildered I felt looking at this woman’s life. I was enamored by her, how could someone be so poised and lovely in appearance while also being so involved in all of these other places? When I asked how she managed to balance it all she gave me a glorious bit of wisdom that I have savored ever since. She said that God gives us all kinds of gifts and roles but He doesn’t intend for us to operate in all of them all at once. She said in some seasons she is more mother than actress, and in others she more actress than pastor; she is always faithful to God and to her family so that part never changes, but what varies is how she chooses to spend her time and energy in each chapter of her life. At that time she felt that the Lord had directed her to focus primarily on helping her children adjust to a recent move and so she had laid down some acting jobs in order to be fully present for her family and the church. She concluded her thoughts by expressing that regardless of how she is spending her time in a given season, she is never shy to claim the gifts God has given her, for instance, even if she hasn’t had a role in movie for several years she still confidently tells people she is an actress because she knows it is an important part of who God made her to be. I liked her answer so much, especially because she didn’t seem to be running in the way that I feel like I am running sometimes. She seemed rested and alive to the moment. I wanted that. I still want that. 

I am a wife of a handsome and Godly skater man who started and now directs an international ministry to skateboarders. I am a sister to Meredith and a sister to many other girls and women who have become like family over the last 26 years of my life. I am also a sister to a whole bunch of brothers, mostly skateboarders, who have shared a roof with us, some for months and others for years. These men have become my family too and I feel it most when they are dating girls because I get overprotective and a little weird and I know it can only be attributed to feeling like a big sister who needs to protect them from getting their hearts broken. I am a director of two different organizations that together encompass most of why I feel I was put on this earth. In one I am leading girls and women around the world to be who they were created to be and to understand their God-given beauty, identity, and value. In the other I am reaching out to professionals in the fashion and entertainment industries and inviting them to know the love of God and use their influence to impact the world for Christ. I live for that stuff. I am a blogger and a listener and a writer and a party thrower and a missionary who lives in a room at a church and doesn’t get paid but rather raises financial support from Christians who believe in what we are doing. I am a talker who loves to read and walk and win at sports. I am an intercessor, the crazy type of lady who prays for big things and little things and everything only because when I’m not praying I am worrying and I'm convinced that praying is much better than worrying. I am a communicator who would rather send a card than an email and would rather have coffee than skype. I like to shovel snow but I don’t like to pump my own gas. I like to mow the lawn but I don’t like to garden. I love California and Colorado and Spain and Chile and India.. and I think maybe everywhere else we have been too. I am a lot of things but I'm learning that I can’t be all of them all at once. Its too much and if I try it will destroy me. 

I want to slow down. I think I need to slow down. I can feel God inviting me to slow down, slowing me to a still. It's funny how desperate I am for Him. I need Him to lead me, I need Him to empower me, and I need him even to slow me down when I am racing beyond His will. It’s like a child who finds out her Mama is taking her for ice cream and then in her excitement she takes off running ahead to get to the ice cream shop as quickly as possible. Her mother slows her down, not because running is a bad thing, but because her running could lead her to bad things. She could get lost or end up in dangerous traffic, or even just miss out on the experience of being with her Mama as together they walk to their favorite place. 

God has promised me great places and I have taken off running. I’m slowing now though. Not because He is mad at me but because my running could get me lost, or take me to a dangerous place, or because it could cause me to miss this journey of being with Him. As I slow to a walk, and breathe deeply, I am assured that I can be everything He has created me to be while only giving my attention to some things in this season. One friend of ours who is famed in the world of skateboarding told us that since he knows he can't be there for everyone who wants his attention his goal is to do for one person what he wishes he could for everyone. Shaun and I think that is good advice. 

It's okay to say no. Its necessary even. And it is good to say yes to important things, like writing on Fridays. We all have gifts and roles and lots of things that we are called to do here on this earth, but we can't do them all at once. We aren't meant to. It is important to slow down. 

God is taking me to my favorite places and I am learning that I don’t need to race to get there. Besides if I am racing then I'll spill my coffee, and who would want to waste a perfectly good pumpkin spiced latte? 

Exactly. No one.

In the heart of slowing down here are some photos of our Palm Springs getaway a few weeks ago. Shaun and I hope to make a habit of "weekend getaways". Our goal is for them to be free or nearly free and a time to connect and prepare for the following week. They don't even need to be "away" necessarily, but they need to be a time of disengaging with work life and online life and any other life that takes away from our life together. We want to be intentional about our family and friends that feel like family, and about pursuing the heart of God. I'm 5 years into marriage, 7 years into trusting Jesus, and 26 years into life. 
Praise the Lord. Slowing down is a good thing. 

3 things.

1. My birthday is Tuesday, August 5th! Mmmmm I just love birthdays. 

This photo is from Pinterest and its dreamy so I'm posting it because I think my birthday will be dreamy too.

2. My sister gets married to a Canadian this Saturday and my husband is officiating the wedding! Family is already arriving from out of state and out of country & I'm delighted to help host the week's festivities.

3. I just booked my ticket to New York City to help lead another Fashion Week outreach! Feeling nervous... as per usual... but also expectant because Jesus always always ALWAYS comes through in crazy ways during these outreaches. Like the time this happened with Betsey Johnson...

PS. Since people are being wonderful & asking about how they can support this outreach- here are 3 ways you can be a part of it! 

1) Pray for me & the rest of the team as we will be spending the week of September 4th-11th sharing the love of God with Fashion & Entertainment Professionals in various ways. If you would like to join the crew who receives daily updates with specific prayer requests please let me know and we will make that happen!

2) Contribute financially to the cost of the outreach! As an unsalaried missionary I continue to be deeply grateful for all of you who generously give financially to fund the work we do. This outreach will cost me about $800 in total. My flight was just over $500 and the rest of the money will go towards my food, housing, and on-ground transportation. In order to give financially please click here: Support Jess Hover (then click on "Donate to a staff member" link.)

3) Come with us! Truly! If you are interested in partnering alongside Models For Christ and sharing the gospel at NYFW please email NYC@modelsforChrist.com for and request a volunteer's application.

Relationships Q & A with Shaun & Jess Hover - Part 2

Hey guys! Here is part 2! Don't be confused by the intro, it's the same as Part 1 but I promise this is a different video. Hope you have a great weekend!

Relationships Q & A with Shaun & Jess Hover - Part 1

Hi friends :) Yesterday Shaun & I went for coffee and brought our laptop along so we could answer some of your relationship questions on video. The first 5 questions are just for fun and the later ones are more serious. The footage is like 30 minutes long so I am breaking them into smaller pieces to make it more enjoyable for you to watch. I'm excited for you guys to get to know us better, especially for you to get to know Shaun! I'm still learning how to make these videos so there are a few editing issues but overall I think it's a good start for my vlog-making career!

Thank you so much for watching and thank you guys for submitting the questions!

vlog from Barcelona.

a video blog from outside our apartment.

haha... its a bit all over the place but its something! 

Barcelona beautiful.

Barcelona is a place of beauty. I like it because it's different from home. I like home too but at home we value efficiency. We build it to get it done, the look of something isn't our top priority. We want to make things that work well. Aesthetics are secondary. 

But here they place a high value on beauty. It is enough for something to simply be beautiful. Art is everywhere. The buildings are colorful and different shapes. The streets and sidewalks are adorned with curvy ledges and bricks and marble and metal sculpted pieces. Shaun is convinced the whole city was designed by a skater, because everything is skate-able, and even though he probably isn't correct, I love that he loves it here so much. He probably appreciates the architecture more than most. 

Being in Barcelona reminds me how much God cares about beauty. It is a reflection of His heart and invites us into His peace. Beauty points us to His glory and magnificence. It brings quiet comfort and a sweet joy, sometimes subtle, but undoubtedly sure.

I think the beauty of humanity is designed to do the same. Being here has helped me pray better for girls and women everywhere. I'm praying that our beauty would be a gift to those around us. A beauty that invites freedom and peace. Not a striving competitive beauty motivated by pride or insecurity, but a beauty that says, "I am enough. I am created by a beautiful Creator and my very being reflects His glory." I am praying that we would display a kind of beauty that actually encourages the beauty in others, a wonderful and contagious Barcelona-like beauty, that makes even skaters feel closer to heaven. 

I'm convinced that with humble grateful hearts we bring glory to our Maker in both creating and celebrating beauty. 

That is what Barcelona is teaching me this week. 

Here are a few photos from my anniversary date with Shaunny. We would have celebrated our 5 years of marriage on Saturday, because we were actually married May 31st like my grandparents, but I was as sick as can be. It's really okay though because Monday June 2nd turned out to be just as good. Also we intended to sit on the sand for part of our date but we must have somehow stumbled upon what Shaun and I, through hysterical laughter, called "Naked Man Beach"... named after... well... exactly what it sounds like. I have never seen so many old, TOTALLY NAKED men in my life. There were also a few people in swimsuits and one naked old woman, but they were invisible to me. I was distracted by the fact that there were like 10 naked old men dangling their treasures at me. Wow. So naturally we ended up on big cement blocks... far away from Naked Man Beach.  

What a warm welcome to this glorious city. Haha... I'm literally laughing as I type this. Ohhhh my.......