Friday, June 8, 2012

skinny girl.

Yesterday Shaun showed me a picture of a young girl who he knew from one of the youth groups he had been working with. She is maybe 16. The photo was one she had posted of herself on instagram, showing off her recent weightloss. She was literally skin and bones... Like when I glanced over at it I was shocked, and I work with models regularly so I am accustomed to seeing thin girls... but this one startled me.

Another young girl had commented underneath the photo saying something like, "Wow, I love seeing your bones... your rib cage, and collar bones... its perfect."

That makes me so sad.

And yet I wish I could say that I didn't believe the same lies that these young ones are believing.

I see the same ads they see,
I shop in the same malls,
I live in the same city...
I feel the same pressure they feel.
I wake up in the morning and have to fight to think positive thoughts towards myself and my body.

I feel the pressure to starve for the sake of looking "perfect".

But its not right. Its not healthy.
And it is destroying the bodies, hearts, and minds of women.

I have to admit it.
I HATE with my whole heart when I hear women complain about how they look.
Like my insides die.
Because I hate what happens right after they say it.
Insecurity fills the room. Its silent. But its definitely there.
Our minds swirl with questions of our own....
"Well if she is thinks she is fat, and she is smaller than me, then what must I look like?..."
"Is my skin broken out too?.."
"Am I aging too quickly?.."
"If her thighs are big, and we look similar, are mine too big?..."

I remember when I used to dance more as a teenager and some of the girls were talking about how their legs "touched" when they walked. Like this meant that their thighs must be too big.

My legs "touched" when I walked, but I had never realized it until that day...
I remember suddenly feeling insecure about the size of my thighs.

Or the feeling of a friend who is pale like me, spending lots of money on tanning products. All of the sudden I became aware that I was white, and a new battle of insecurity arose in me about the color of my skin.

Its horrible.

Honestly it feels like there hasn't been an inch of my body that I haven't had some sort of trouble accepting. I am tired of it. It's ridiculous.

I heard a woman in her 60's say recently that now because she is older she doesn't worry as much about her appearance. Well perfect.... I am not about to wait 40 years to get where she is at. I don't think I can make it that long. I also don't believe that God is sitting up there in heaven expecting me to just drudge through this thing until there are 60 candles on my birthday cake.

No way.

Now I am a girl that enjoys dressing cute, exercising, and smelling good... so I am not suggesting that we will escape this destruction simply by embracing looking like hobos for the rest of our lives.

But I do think that its time to focus more on the state of our hearts than on the size of our jeans.
Confidence is a beautiful thing.
Security, peace, joy, and laughter are also beautiful.
Resembling our Creator is the most beautiful thing of all, because He created beauty... so it doesn't get much better.

When it comes to pursuing beauty we may need to turn off the t.v., set down Vogue, log out of Facebook... and get honest with ourselves. How do we define beauty? How do we see ourselves? Are we living lives saturated with comparison and envy? If so... then something is off, and we need to ask God for help.

The word of God says,

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Striving for perfection is not quiet or gentle. Envy isn't either. And comparison... definitely not.
Those things are mean... loud... destructive... nagging... and so painful...
both to us and to the people around us.

I am tired of it.
I am ready to learn to love myself and enjoy the unique beauty that God has put within me.
And I am praying that you guys would be ready too.

This beauty stuff is literally killing people. Enough already. Its crazy.

So let's start today simply by not talking bad about ourselves. Resist the temptation to complain about your size, shape, skin, or hair. Instead be a life-giver. Speak words that encourage the people around you. I will do it too. I promise, even though it is just a small thing, it will make a world of difference.

"...Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

Now here is some true beauty! Haha Lily got into her mom's lipstick and jewelry :) 


Karisse said...

This is beautiful and so true. And you are beautiful too. Any time you think otherwise, just tell the enemy to take a hike!

Emma said...

this helped me a lot. thanks