Saturday, October 8, 2011

I'm still sweaty and not as fragrant as I could be, but dance class just ended a few minutes ago and I am too excited to shower. 

Okay. I will tell you a secret. Before today only Jesus and I ever talked about this. But you can be part of it now too. So...I was thinking about quitting dance. Not abruptly, just slowly, discreetly... and spiritually haha. It would look something like this...

I would stop taking as many classes as I once did. I would change my focus to the other "gifts God gave me". I would eventually change my role at YWAM so that I no longer incorporated dance into what I do. Then I would be so engrossed in my "other passions" that dancing would simply become a memory. It would be good though, I would talk about "God's heart for me to focus on the other things that I am better at". Maybe I would say it was writing, or speaking, or hanging with models, or being a wife. Who knows. It doesn't matter though, because the main point is that I would phase dance out of my life, claiming it was God's best for me. 

Today I had an awesome realization of how ridiculous I am. See, my desire to quit dance had nothing to do with God. It was all me. It was an idea that birthed out of months and years of quietly comparing myself to people I love. I have watched my close friends pursue dance and thrive at it. I know so many beautiful people that are extraordinary dancers, like professionals that are sought after and doing incredibly well in it. I would watch their videos, or go to their shows, and be in awe as I adored their gift. They are breathtaking. 

But then I would get back to my home, go to my classes, or perform in my shows, and I'd wrestle with feeling inadequate... even sometimes embarrassed. Though I could see positive things coming from my dance, like hearts being touched, and lives being impacted. I still had the images of my friends and their abilities playing in the back of my mind, and all I could hear was that I was making a fool of myself.

So then last night actually I was trying to be "mature in my thinking", and I figured that pursuing dance was an unwise decision for me. I am not the best at it. Perhaps spending time doing it is actually a waste and I would be better off doing something else.

But just now I went to dance class. (Actually dance class came to me- we have classes on the YWAM LA campus on Saturdays now... so its basically at my house.) About 25 people came and the instructor is a professional dancer who loves God and is passionate about using her craft to bring Him glory. So she was not shy to talk about Him during class. At one point she basically read my mind.. 

She said (to all of us, but it spoke to me), "You are looking at the people around you and trying to measure up to their ability. But God's not doing that. He has given you a certain ability and He wants to know if you will be faithful with what He has given you. Don't look at the others in the room, or compare yourself to the professionals on TV. Use the gift God has given you to its fullness, that is what God wants for you." 

That was it for me. I have been so caught up in comparison that I was willing to forfeit the gift God gave me, even though He has been using it to encourage hearts and change lives. God is not comparing me to my close friends, He is simply asking that I be faithful with the gift He has given me. He can even expand the gift if I will be faithful with the little I have! 

So now I am just excited. Ready to live this out. I am ready to stop comparing. I am also ready to be faithful with what He has given me. I will dance when I can, and do my best, no matter what it looks like. I will also be more excited to see me friends dance, because it all points to God being awesome and beautiful in His creation. This applies to other things as well, not just dance. Today I will try to figure out other areas of life that I can be more faithful.

What have you been given? Are you being faithful with it? Perhaps it is  a gift of dance as well? Or a sport? Or an intelligent brain, a unique creativity, or a compassionate heart? The gift of encouragement or hospitality? We have all bee given gifts that are meant to be used to the glory of God. 

Look at your life. Where are you living? Who are the people you interact with daily? Both in person but also through facebook, blog, texting, or phonecalls. How can you be faithful with what you have been given today? I will do it too. Let's try to find ways to use the gifts we have been given to make the lives of others better, and to glorify God in our faithfulness. 

Oh and don't bother comparing yourself. Its all lies anyway. You are enough. Just be the very best you that you can be and may God bless you extravagantly today! 

 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones." Luke 16:10 (NLT)

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16(NIV)

I was looking for some great videos to share of my friends tearing it up on the dance floor. I couldn't find any recent ones on youtube of Kala Bruce, Melissa Danley, Bethany Spengler, Ashton Grant, or Bethany Gunn.. But I put up some older favorites of Hillary and Kala. I also liked this older one of Audrey! Basically I am just posting these to share my love for these people and the fact that I deeply believe in them. I hope you enjoy!

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