I like you a latte.

Well.... its really more of a "cafe con leche"...
or at Starbucks they call it a "cafe misto"...
basically its just a delicious coffee with frothed milk.

But either way... 

its a favorite part of my morning routine.   

And by the way...
I really do like you A LOT. 
& I sincerely hope you understood the cute-ness in this blog post title. 

So this one is for my coffee drinking pals. 
Though tea-lovers will benefit too.
And if you're a cocoa girl... then you are in the right place.

I've decided to let you in on how I make a perfect cup-of-Joe.

But I'm going to name her the 

perfect-cup-of-Joy.

I think it fits better.

The key to this delightful drink is the frothed milk. Since I don't have a fancy milk-frother, I have resorted to a home remedy. It is working exceptionally well. 

1) Brew a pot of coffee. The coffee of choice varies... but I'm NOT a fan of "swamp water"... so if your coffee is disgusting... I don't think even my hot, bubbly milk will save you. 
2) For home-made frothed milk, I use a little blender. Mine is called "The Magic Bullet" and it works like a dream. Another option for this step is to just put a bit of milk in a closed container (like a mason jar) and shake it up for 10-15 seconds. 
3) After shaking or blending, put your milk in the microwave for 30 seconds. Watch it so that it doesn't bubble over. It shouldn't- but it may if it is filled too full.
4) Usually I blend it once more after heating it... I'm a HUGE fan of foam. 

5) By this point my milk is warm & foamy... But if its not quite hot enough, I'll pop it back in the micowave for a few seconds longer. 

6) Now its time to pour a cup of coffee. Make sure you use a mug that is both cozy & cute. I"m pretty certain that good mugs make EVERY hot drink taste better. 

(Remember that if you aren't a coffee fan- 

tea && cocoa would be yummy too!)

7) Next I add the milk. The liquid will pour quickly, but usually the bubbles stay in the bottom of the cup. That's when I use a spoon to scoop out the foam out & set it on top of the coffee. 

8) My sweetener of choice varies between Sugar in the Raw and honey. This week I've been a honey girl because I love the way it swirls on top of the foam. But sprinkling the the Raw Sugar on top is both yummy && pretty... so you can't go wrong.

9) And finally we have the PERFECT-cup-of-Joy to accompany some morning Bible reading & journaling. 

Beauty Arise. Halloween edition.

We weren't sure what to dress up as for Halloween- we just knew that we wanted to be in Hollywood for the night and somehow share Christ's love with the thousands of people partying there.

As a girl who is constantly looking for opportunities to dress up in something pink and sparkly I suggested that we go as fairies... Because honestly who wouldn't want to dress up as a fairy?

My friends agreed to it.

But I didn't just want to be a typical fairy... I decided to be an "Encouragement Fairy"... Which meant all the pink and sparkles I wanted, PLUS a big pink sign with a handwritten encouragement for people to see as they passed by.

So we did it. We bought wings and poster board from the dollar store, glow sticks too, and grabbed whatever we could find in our closets to create the perfect fairy costumes.

Now something you should know about Hollywood is that it is nearly impossible to stand out there. People are ALWAYS wearing crazy costumes and doing outrageous things on the sidewalks in order to get attention.

Now add Halloween to that fact and the chances of us standing out become even less probable. Between the scantily clad women walking the street in their panties, and the multitudes of people dressed in blood and gore... We were hardly flashy enough to be a part of that celebration.

But guess what???

WE STOOD OUT!

People wanted to talk to us- take pictures with us- people yelled encouragements at us- some people made fun of us- one lady cried when she saw us- another guy made a song about us- a group of girls threatened to hurt anyone who came near us- people hit on us- people wanted prayer from us- and mostly everyone smiled when they saw us! Several times people told us that we were their favorite costume of the night.

How crazy is that?

We were modestly dressed in costumes that were basically free and hardly pinterest-worthy. And yet we were a huge hit. On Hollywood Boulevard.

Why?
I think it's because "love never fails". (1 Corinthians 13)

Love speaks more loudly than scandalous clothing and elaborate costumes.

People were drawn to us because of our love. The words we shared with them both communicated love and were motivated by love. That's why they enjoyed us.

Because the reality is I was just a strangely happy girl who was prancing around the street dressed like the tooth fairy. There was no reason for people to want to be near me. Majority of them came to Hollywood that night to drink too much and meet other mostly-naked drunk people. I was not what they were looking for.

But still, like I said... I stood out.

Not because of me. But because of the message I shared.

Our signs said a variety of things like:
"you are beautiful"
"you are loved"
"you are God's masterpiece"
"you are treasured"

These messages brought people to us... and brought smiles out of people... Even a group of gangsters who were standing on the corner WITH GUNS (yes, there was a shooting that night in Hollywood)... they appeared hard at first but my sweet fairy friends approached them (CLEARLY not seeing the guns!) and offered them free glow-sticks. Immediately the gangsters smiled like children and read our signs excitedly.

Our messages brought life.

Jesus said in John 10:10,

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

I love that. I felt it Halloween night. Satan ("the thief") had plans to steal, kill and destroy people on Halloween night. Through violence, drug abuse, drunkenness... and other things. But Jesus had plans too. Plans to bring life... and remind people of who they really are.

I'm thankful that he picked a handful of "fairies" to be a part of His plan.

I am dark but lovely.

 No not literally. I'm not dark. I'm a bit sunburned on my back and shoulders, but not to the point where I qualify as "dark". I've always been mostly white with a subtle pink hue. No big deal there.

But I came across a verse in the Bible from the book of Song of Songs where a woman is saying that she is "dark but lovely"... and today I relate to this lady.

Back in her day it wasn't beautiful to be dark, it was more lovely to be pale, because to be dark resembled a servant (working in the sun) but to be pale showed that you were of class and stature.

She is saying "I am dark but lovely" because she is trying to "woo" the man she fancies, and in expressing those words to him, she is revealing a bit of the shame that she feels for being so dark. She hopes he will overlook her darkness, and see her loveliness. 

I know that feeling, where I have to convince myself not to be insecure about something, that I am secretly feeling EXTRA insecure about.

If she wasn't super aware of her own skin tone she wouldn't have even mentioned being so dark, she'd just confidently flaunt the fact that she was sun kissed and unique. But no. She's feeling it.

Well I'm feeling it too... today I have been EXTRA aware of my own weaknesses. To a fault actually. I got to a point around lunch time where I honestly wanted to hide from the people around me, and I was all too grateful for the opportunity to leave the conference I am attending this week, and take a couple friends to the doctor for the afternoon.

Actually I was pretty anxiety-ridden at dinner too, when I went back to the conference for the evening session. It got so bad that I excused myself and used Shaun's iPhone to search for the nearest Starbucks so I could get away and go gather my thoughts.

I feel embarrassed that it got so bad.

But now that I've been sitting here at Starbucks for about an hour, I feel like I'm getting a bit of perspective that will hopefully help me go back into the conference and be my normal self.

"I am dark but lovely."

So one of the main reasons I get so insecure around all of these people at the conference is because they are amazing. These people are full of faith. Loud. Bold. Sometimes they make me slightly uncomfortable because of it... But then again when God is using them to literally heal people right in front of my face, I think they are doing something right.

Somehow when I get around them I feel like I'm failing because I feel so different from them.

That feeling reminds me of the struggle I sometimes have when I'm working with the gorgeous people in the fashion industry. They're amazing too. Physically perfect. Beautiful. Faithful. Brave. Responsible.

Somehow when I get around them I feel like I'm failing because I feel so different from them.

Two totally different groups of people. Same tormenting feeling within me. In both settings I feel like hiding, quitting.. and eventually seeking out something that will numb the turmoil within my heart.

I'm just so very aware of the dark spots in my heart. My weaknesses. My shortcomings. My desire for people to want me. My lust. My insecurity. Even physically... my pimples... my spider veins... my not-so-super-model-shaped-body.

When the darkness of these thoughts floods my mind... I feel ashamed and unworthy.

Then comes God. With His sweet... quiet... yet oh-so-real voice of truth..

"You are dark but lovely"

I like that. He doesn't say I'm not dark... meaning that I am without fault. Because if he said that, I might think He doesn't actually know me. I might strive to "act" like I'm perfect and faultless because I'd think that's what He expected of me, but really inside I'd probably suffocate because of how far I am from perfect. The disconnect from my true self and the person I was pretending to be would eventually be too much for me to handle.

But I feel safe when I realize that God knows me. He knows my every struggle. He sees my every sinful tendency. He is completely aware of all of them. Yet He still calls me lovely.

I don't have to feel ashamed of my shortcomings, and I don't have to withdraw from people because I feel unworthy.

Because the God of the universe has looked upon my life and chosen me. I am enough for Him. I am dark but lovely. I have faults, but they don't negate my loveliness in the sight of God.

In life, we have a tendency as people to look at our "shortcomings" (whether real or imaginary) and allow them to count us out. We set ourselves up to try and 'earn' a position because in our hearts we don't feel like we actually have it.

it looks like this:

I would be beautiful IF I lost 5 pounds.

I would be a real baseball player IF I made this team or pitched at this speed.

I would be a real dancer IF I dance like this person.

I would be a successful and creative business owner IF I sold this amount of product.

I would be good at writing IF I had this many followers on my blog.

I would be wanted IF this many people liked my photo on instagram.

I would be a great leader, influencing people and changing lives, IF I were this well-known.

We don't believe we are worthy. We live life trying to prove that we are good enough. Sometimes we actually think we are trying to prove it to other people, as if they are the ones who don't believe we can do it, when in reality the only one who needs convincing is us.

I hear kids say to Shaun.. "No man, I'm not really a skater"...

Even though they literally just rolled up on a board, and are now holding the skateboard in their hand!

They say it though because in their mind a "real skater" requires something that they don't feel they've attained.

I love Shaun's response though, he always says, "Well, do you love to skate?"

"Yeah man I love to skate."

"Perfect, then you're a real skater."

I need a little bit of that perspective in my life tonight.

I am the first one to count myself out of things...
No it doesn't make sense that God uses me to love on a fashion model, I'm not a model.
No it doesn't make sense that I am training in dance, or that I use dance to entertain people, I don't have good technique.
No it doesn't make sense for me to teach on relationships, I sometimes lust after guys other than Shaun.
No it would be crazy for me to teach on identity, I am daily battling to find my own.
No it is silly to think God would use me at all, I'm a big bundle of issues.

But then I hear it,

"Hey Jess, Do you love Jesus?"

"Yeah... and I want to love Him more."

"Perfect, then you're qualified."

That's just it. I can have peace because I'm enough. No more striving. No more feeling like I'm behind.

I just surrender myself. My life. My weaknesses. My strengths. My fears. My dreams. My desires. All of it. Into the loving hands of a God who is passionate about doing life with me.
And I watch Him work miracles in me and through me. Even all around me.

Safe in the protection and security of His love is where I find myself standing confidently alongside the woman in Song of Songs saying,

"I am dark, but [SO] lovely. " (I added the "so) :)

Meet my adorable nieces Rose & Sasha. They are my brother's daughters and I love them. They live in Montana. So cute!