Monday, February 25, 2013

Peace be still.

this is the perfect picture of peace. from a morning walk last week. i love it. 

i've been needing some extra peace lately.
i came home from New York and felt like my head spun a bit out of control.
not that dramatic.
but sometimes it feels like that.
especially last night.
i'll fill you in on a secret... but its a secret... so don't tell.
i woke up in the night crying from anxiety.
and i cried several times over the weekend from stress.
its a bother.
i talked with Shaun about it today.
and asked several close friends to pray for me.
and now i'm telling you.

this afternoon i asked my friend Amaris to have tea with me so i could talk it through.

oh yeah.... that's also because yesterday was pretty emotional too.
i was in the hospital room with an elderly couple, as the husband spent his last few hours on earth because of heart failure.
he was 90. his wife is a couple days away from being 87.
i think tomorrow would have been their 65th wedding anniversary.
i have helped them in their home for almost 4 years. they have become family to me. the wife didn't want me to leave the room. she just kept weeping and praying with her husband.
it was beautiful and devastating.
anyway i left at 1:00pm.
he passed away at 2:30pm.
i'm grateful i wasn't in the room when it happened, but my heart is broken for her.
they were one.
now she feels like half of her is missing.
she called me today. i'm going to clean her house for her tomorrow afternoon.
i wish there was more i could do.
she said God is comforting her.
but she is broken. and deserate for Jesus.
she knows Jesus. intimately.
she helped to found Youth With a Mission.
and has written books... like 8... published books... about God & His ways.
she has travelled the world teaching and preaching about Him too.
but this is the time in her life when she needs Him more than ever.
no teaching will satisfy her.
only a touch from the living God. the Comforter.

anyway back to my tea-time with Amaris.
i opened up with her about my recent anxiety.
and she listened intently.
she offered lots of wisdom, but I'll pick one piece to share with you.

its an acronym that she made up during a stressful time of her own.

Do it.

she said that fear, worry, and perfectionism are thieves. They steal our time and our energy. They cause us to put things off & procrastinate.... but then... when we FINALLY get something done... we mull over it & pick it apart, again and again... thinking of all the ways we could have done it better.

her recent strategy has been to P.D.D.

when she encounters a situation...
FIRST she prays about it.
then she does what she can.
then she leaves it alone.

she doesn't give worry any space to speak into the situation.

she also suggested making things as simple as possible.
perfectionism likes to complicate.
but simple is good.

anyway I liked that advice.
i feel better already.

This one is from my walk on Saturday morning. this verse is SO encouraging to my heart. 

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