Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Lily's Shoes.

Lily is my god-daughter and I love her like crazy.

Lily's shoes are stinking cute. Always.

I feel like she always has the best shoes. They are pink, or sparkly, or bright, or strappy, or Nike or Tom's or... I don't even know... they are just always perfect for her sweet little feet.

What is crazy though is that Lily is just a little girl. Her feet grow so fast that she can literally only wear a pair of shoes for a month or two before needing a bigger pair. So logically I would think that we wouldn't put too much effort into making sure her shoes are great.

But despite my logic, Lily is probably wearing an adorable pair of pink Nike's as I type this. 

So why would that move me to post a blog about it?

Well here it is...

Recently I have been doubting that my future will be bright. I started thinking that I don't have much to look forward to because I ruined things back in high school. I got caught up in the wrong crowds. My grades fell. I didn't go to college. I didn't pursue sports... Or the performing arts... Or a respectable career with a stable income. As much as I want to trust that God's plans for me are good... I have found myself feeling mostly doubtful, fearful, and anxious... stressing and feeling overwhelmed because I don't know how to be a 24 year old.

Aaannnddd recently I have had lots of conversations with some of my gorgeous single friends. These friends have been struggling too. They are doubting that God will bring them a spouse- even though it is all that they have ever dreamed of. They are afraid that they will never be wives or moms. They have even expressed that they think when God does bring their husbands (IF He does)... then they will probably be boring or grossly unattractive men.

So as I'm faced with this stuff... I am realizing that it all comes down to how much we believe that God loves us... and whether or not we believe He is a good lover.

Earlier this year I found an adorable pair of sandals for Lily. But they were too big. It would have been months before she could fit into them. They were SO cute though. A great brand, bright colors, sparkly... I knew she would love them- one day. Sooo... I decided to buy them for her. Before she needed them. Before she knew to ask for them. Simply because I love her, and it delights me to give her good gifts. In that moment my love for Lily, and my desire to see her happy, outweighed all of the practical reasons why not to buy her the shoes. The most important thing for me was blessing the little girl that I love.

And sure enough it was the best feeling ever. I loved it! I loved seeing Lily's face light up when I gave them to her. I loved it when, a few months later, she ran over to me to excitedly show "Auntie Jess" her new sandals! I still love it- even though now she can't fit into those sandals anymore. I don't regret buying them for her at all.

Lily loved the shoes I got her. But Lily also never doubted that she would have shoes when her feet got bigger. In fact Lily never stresses about needing new shoes, ever. Even though her feet are growing quickly. She never wonders if she will be taken care of. Actually she doesn't even have time to worry... because in most cases her mom, or me, or another friend has already bought her the shoes she will need in a few months!

Like her current Nike's... those were a gift from our friend Derek... a 21 year-old athlete with tattoos...
Yep. Lily has stolen his heart too.

So now if I... A girl who is often struggling, irritable, doubtful, impatient, and selfish... am capable of loving Lily like this... where I am delighted to spend my own money on a pair of shoes she will adore...months before she needs them...

What kind of lover must God be?

The Bible says He is perfect and good and kind.
He is our provider and our friend.
He knows us better than we know ourselves.

The joy that I feel in giving Lily good gifts, is just a glimpse of the joy it brings God to provide us with what we need.

And I know it's so easy to doubt that He really will bring us what we need. Often when we do believe that He will provide for us, we expect Him to give us something bad.. Or less than our favorite.

But I am learning from Lily.
We need to expect good gifts, with thankful hearts, because our Father is a good lover.

He loves to excite our hearts, MORE than I love to surprise Lily with cute shoes.

He not only delights to give good gifts, He also created us and knows what is best for us. He is trustworthy. His timing is perfect. Even if He delays in fulfilling our desires, we can trust that He will not fail us. His plans are better than ours. His ways are higher than ous.

We are safe in His love.

Just as Lily lives safely in the love of her parents... Trusting that she will always be taken care of.

We are safe trusting in the Lord. He loves to love us.

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God!
And that is what we are!"
1 John 3:1

And now some sweet photos of Lily hanging with "Uncle Shaun" yesterday...
notice the adorable Halloween outfit I got her... just because I love to love her :)

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