Satisfaction- Sex. Money. & Our appearance.

Sex... not "boring married sex", but sex with lots of people. Maybe we add porn to it to liven things up; or film it and share it. Or "toys" of some kind. We do it in secret- where no one would find out. Maybe text her after and say something clever like.. "Hey, lets not tell anyone about this." Travel somewhere and sleep with a cute girl you meet.. your wife never has to know. Or maybe have your wife dress up like a nurse, then instead of having intimacy with your wife- you imagine its a real nurse that you meet at the office, another secret way to keep things pleasurable without literally cheating on your spouse. Sex with lots of people, in lots of places, and maybe drink some alcohol first to keep it hot. That should satisfy.

Or money, we should all strive to make lots of it. Steal it. Work day and night to earn it. Cheat if necessary. Life should revolve around it. Lets do something that involves selling weed- that usually brings a profit. We can sell more and make more money, then.. I don't know.. let's buy a boat and go on lavish vacations. Once we get the money- don't give it away. Or I guess if you want to be generous you can tip the Starbucks barista when you buy your next latte- but that should suffice. Don't give to your loved ones, they should be more responsible and take care of themselves. Tithing to a church? Don't believe in it. Those hypocritical pastors don't deserve a higher salary. If, on the off chance you do need to give, go ahead and make that person feel as if they owe you something. Money should always means more than relationships. They weren't that good of a friend in the first place. Or dad. Or mom. Or sister. More money. More pleasure.

Appearance. Actually scratch everything else. The real satisfaction in life comes from outward appearance in the eyes of others. Lets do whatever we can to have sexy bodies, successful jobs, well-decorated houses, nice clean cars, and lets make sure our facebook pages are really convincing. In fact go untag yourself from every bad picture. You did already? Good. Good. Me too. The whole meaning of life is to be sure that we appear better than everyone else. That is where true satisfaction comes from.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11  
¹⁰ I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
   I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my labor,
   and this was the reward for all my toil.
¹¹ Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
   and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
   nothing was gained under the sun.

Honestly, as I read through my sarcastic paragraphs on what really matters in life- I am struck by how much I really believe all of these things. So often I struggle with lust and impure desires in the area of sex. Or with money- here as a missionary my husband and I do not earn an income. We "live by faith", trusting God to provide for us each month through friends, family, and people who believe in our ministry. God has been faithful to provide for me every single month and yet I still wonder if life would be better with a nicer car, or more expensive home furnishings. When it comes to appearance its a constant battle between fearing God and fearing people. What opinion do I value more? God's or yours? Somehow I struggle with believing the lies that I know so strongly to be false.

Nothing satisfies outside of Jesus. Nothing. The more stuff we have, the more we crave. We think that this next thing will be the one that fills us up, but no, we always want more. Whether it is clothing- "All I need is a new pair of boots, then I'll be totally happy this winter" or a hit- "I swear after this I am putting down the bong forever", or sex "After this time we are not going to have sex again until we are married." I am learning that even in ministry if I am doing things for God instead of seeking to be with God then at the end of the day I will still feel dry and unhappy.

We were created by God to be with God. Its crazy and doesn't always feel real, but I have learned that no truth is more true than this. No pleasure or source of satisfaction will never be enough for us outside of hanging with Jesus. Its the core of who we are and without it we crumble. Everything else is meaningless and is going to fall away at some point. Other desires may be nice, but if they are in the place of God in our hearts, they will lead us into destruction. We cannot put our trust in it.

If I can encourage any of you sweet people- you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are wanted, and you are better than the life you are living. Money can't buy happiness, neither can most of the things you are chasing. Life is so short, don't waste it with meaningless things that don't fill you up. There is more to life than what you're experiencing and I pray that you see that. Don't fade through another day desiring things that don't matter. You will regret that later, I am certain of it.