Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Skinny makes a terrible lord.

lôrd noun
1. someone or something having power, authority, or influence; a master or ruler.

  1. I hate skinny. 
    Not skinny as in the latte. 
    I hate skinny, as in the lord. 

    Everyone I have ever observed in life has a "lord". By definition a "lord' is someone or something that has authority over you. It is something that is worshipped, something that is sought after, something that gives purpose for life, and something that determines how all decisions are made. The lord of somebody's life is their center of thinking. A lord determines how money is spent, how energy is expended, and how circumstances are viewed. 

    I recently decided that I HATE THE LORD OF SKINNY. I have both yelled it at Heaven in my prayers for friends and vented it at my poor husband Shaun just this past week. 

    I think you hate it too.
    You just might not know what it is that you hate. 

    When skinny is the lord of your life it can look like this:

    Your happiness is dependent on your size. You are not content until you are skinny. You don't think you are skinny. You may have never thought you were skinny, and yet you have desired to be skinny with everything in you for as long as you can remember. Even when you feel like your body is "an okay size" you still have anxiety about eating and exercise because you are fearful of getting bigger. You have read books and magazines on how to be thin. You obsess over what you eat. You even pay attention to what other people are eating- especially other girls. You study their bodies, comparing yourself, and you allow their size to tell you how secure you should feel around them. If you are bigger than them, you feel less beautiful. If you are smaller, it is likely you feel more secure. But you are not secure. You feel like you would be secure if you lost some weight... but you are not there yet. Your life revolves around your weight, but most people don't realize that because you do what you can to keep it a secret. Being skinny is your motivation for working out. You say you really value 'health", but in reality you sacrifice true health in your pursuit of being skinny. You think you are single because you are too big. Or you decide that only skinny girls get married. Or you conclude that only skinny girls are truly happy. If you eat too much on a certain day, you beat yourself up internally for the next few days, feeling like a failure until you get the opportunity to eat well and exercise again. Shopping makes you feel fat, especially when you try on clothes and they don't fit well. When you see a photo of yourself you first look at your size, and you usually think you look big, which usually leads you to hate the picture, even if you were actually having fun when it was taken. 

    There's more I can say but I'll stop there because I think you get the idea. 

    I want you to know something. I want EVERYONE to know it. 


    He is dangling an image of beauty in front of you that is neither real, nor attainable, and the more you devote yourself to obtaining it, the more empty and frustrated you will feel. The lord of skinny wants you to hate yourself. He wants you to forfeit the dreams God has put in you. He sees that you are a leader and he wants you to lead other girls into confusion about their identities. He wants to use you to create a culture that makes those around you feel insecure, hideous, and unworthy of everything God has for them. 

    As we wander after the illusion that being skinny will make us happy, we are becoming less patient and less loving to those around us. The lord of skinny has convinced us that beauty is found in being thin, but in actuality, our pursuit of being skinny has made us less beautiful. 
    We have become selfish. 
    We have become isolated. 
    We have become envious. 
    We have lost our joy. 

    So where is the hope?

    The hope is in the fact that skinny does NOT have to be lord. As Christians we are to make Jesus the Lord of our lives. When Jesus is Lord our lives things will look vastly different from those who are worshipping the lord of skinny. I would know. I used to be somebody that revolved my thoughts & energy around my desire to be thin, but I have now found freedom in surrendering my body into the hands of my loving Creator. 
    I have given Him permission to have His way in me and it has changed everything! 

    Unlike the lord of skinny, the Lord Jesus loves us. He wants us to find joy and hope in Him as we discover the unique beauty He has placed in us. The Lord Jesus wants us to love ourselves. He wants us to fulfill the dreams God has placed in us. He sees that we are leaders and He wants us to lead other girls into freedom in their identities. He wants to use us to create a culture that makes those around us feel secure, beautiful, and worthy of everything God has for them. 

    The Lord Jesus desires health for our hearts, health for our minds, and health for our bodies. As we pursue Him we will become like Him, and out of that will come a beauty that is undeniable. 

    "Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered in shame." 
    Psalm 34:5 

    Okay friends. I love you. Please hear my heart. It doesn't matter what movies, or people, or pinterest, or magazines or anybody else is telling you about your beauty... you do not have to live in submission to the lord of skinny. Trust your Creator. Surrender your body to Him. Allow Him to work in you, bringing forth life and health and beauty according to His design. You are exquisite. 

    I pray that you will experience the freedom that comes with surrendering your lives and your bodies to the Lord Jesus Christ-- the Prince of Peace and the Lover of your souls.

    You are a treasure.

    Thanks for listening to my rant. :)
    It would be a tragedy to think that beauty is limited to just one size, one shape, one color, or one standard.
    So much would be lost if we really believed that. Diversity is a gift from God.
    As women we should celebrate the uniqueness in ourselves & in others.
    Its a beautiful thing to be different. 


Anonymous said...

I love the new look of your blog. So happy to see a photo of your ladies, in all shapes, sizes and color;) The particular subject of this 'rant' hit so close to home for me. When I was in high school, I struggled terribly; not with weight but with self-image that turned into weight issues. It was all about being accepted, being part of the 'in' group, the competition of who can lose 5 pounds in a month? a week? a day?! My 'weight issue' turned into anorexia. I was 'skinny' through my 20's and after 2 kids and menopause, I see myself as fat! I long to be skinny...or at least, skinnier. I argue, fight and battle it out with the 'skinny lord' every day! Then I am hit with guilt because I KNOW it saddens my Heavenly to see me in such despair over what I perceive as "not good enough". The mirror image that I have set all judgment against. How wrong I have been, and still am. I am a work in progress, as slow as it may seem at times. Thank you for being so candid and honest. I love your blog posts my dear :) Luana

Karisse said...

Oh Jess, such powerful words. So much truth here. I felt like the words were jumping off the screen at me. I needed to read this today. And probably every day for a long time. Be de-throned lord of skinny. be de-throned. Love you and am so proud of you!