So I am home again! It is a wonderful thing that I am here, but honestly through the fatigue and the heart ache of having to say goodbye to people I love, I haven't fully embraced being back yet. But its okay, there's grace, I'm sure I will be adjusted in a few days.
Hmm, what should I tell you? Well I could start by telling you the haircut story. Yes, I got a haircut. I get them often, but this one was different. Not only did I get most of the length chopped off, and not only did I get bangs, though both of those were big for me... what is even bigger than that was the declaration I made in my heart to trust Jesus with my appearance.
See I was going through a time in my heart where I was struggling with how I looked... it happens from time to time. I didn't talk about it much, but I could feel it. I felt myself constantly wondering how I looked, and fighting a cloudiness of insecurity about it. It was extra silly too because I was on outreach in South America, trying to love people and encourage them to pursue freedom in Christ.. and yet inside I felt stuck. So then my Chilean friend Cole, who works at a salon at the YWAM base in Pichilemu, told me that her favorite thing was what her friend's let her do whatever she wanted with their hair. I thought that sounded fun... and brave. So I prayed about it, and asked Shaun about it. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but for me it felt huge. I feared short hair because I was afraid that I would look older, or more frumpy, or... I don't know.. just less attractive. But I decided that I feared being stuck in insecurity MORE than I feared looking all those things. God and Shaun agreed. I decided that I needed to get my hair chopped just as a way to declare to myself, and to Jesus, that I was tired of focusing outward and that I trust Him with my beauty.
It was a good thing for me. Not only did my heart feel better... but actually my hair turned out cute too! My friends were really encouraging and helped me to get used to the change, because it was hard at first. But now I love it and am grateful for the process I went through. I know it may sound crazy to make such a big deal of a hair cut... but God is good and He can use anything to set us free and make our hearts more lovely.
|With Cole- my sweet friend and the one who cut my hair :)|
|Family reunited! My favorite part of being back has been seeing with my beautiful sister Meredith.|